Playing the role of a parent to a child that’s not biologically yours is an issue most step-parents face in the world as a whole. Well, these are 10 tips on how to bond with your stepchild.
Forming new relationships with people is not an easy task at all, especially with your stepchild, most children see step-parents as bad people because the idea some of them have left in our minds is hard to ignore.
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Here are guidelines on how to bond with your stepchild
1. Start From Baby Steps
Children are very hard to please if they are just getting to know you and they don’t like you, so you should start scratch in the process of getting to know them. New relationships are not formed overnight it takes time and patience and you should allow the child to take the lead.
2. Don’t Force Them Into Doing Things They Don’t Want To Do
This Occurs in most families, Children in general hate when their parents make them do things they are not comfortable with, so you as a step-parent that wants to bond emotionally with your stepchild, should make out time to observe them and learn about their personality.
3. Don’t Take Things Personal
When your step kids are acting or being unkind toward you, have patience and remember all the things they have been through. If their behavior isn’t sitting well with you as an adult you should relax and remember that their still children that are gradually growing everyday and learning, so show them love no matter the situation.
4. Take Out Time To Learn Them Better
This is one way to get through to your stepchild emotionally. While biological parents literally evolve and grow with their children, stepparents make the choice to become part of a preexisting family, interrupting whatever dynamic was already there, so take your time in learning them and connecting with them, what they like and don’t.
5. Invite Them Into Your Life
You sharing a family with them now make you one of them, so do the needful and don’t completely shut them out of your life, you should invite them into your own world too, show them who you are, your personality and also start sharing your day to day activities with them.
6. Engage In Activities With Them
As with any relationship, you need to spend time together to grow closer. Quality time is key. Start by asking the kids what activities they like to do and then do one together. Make it a habit and eventually, you will see your stepchild looking forward to this time with you.
7. Treat Them Like You Will Treat your Biological Child
Favoritism is the cause of every failure in a step-parent and step-child relationship, if you are doing it they will know and they will know and eventually end up not liking or bonding with you and this is a very important area to focus on if you eventually want your relationship with them to grow, so treat them the same way you will treat your child.
8. Be Clear About Your Role In Their Life
You are not their mom nor their replacement mom, your role as a step-parent in their life is special and you should never feel the need to compete with their biological parent your role as a stepmom is unique and does not need to compete with your mom. Show your kids how this is all new to you and how excited you are to start this special relationship with them.
9. Never Talk Badly About Their Parent
This is a big no, Don’t ever do this if with your stepchild if you want to form a connection or bond with them, so you should never speak badly about their biological parent even if they were awful. It is best to listen to their plight and comfort them in the best way you can.10. Make New Memories And Traditions Together
This tip can help create a lovely and desirable atmosphere with your newly formed family. take trips to visit restaurants, go to the park, go to football games and do a lot of things that will create magical memories, these moments will be a special time just for your family.
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