When we talk about bedroom matters, it’s easy to tell your partner that you love the things they do but the challenge comes in when you want a change.
It’s very sensitive because it can trigger feelings of inadequacy in your partner so it’s always wise to approach this the right way.
You don’t need to be nervous though. You can follow these guidelines for a smooth talk with your bae:
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Choose the right time: There are certain things you can quickly talk about when you’re already in the moment. But there are also those things that need a more detailed conversation that you shouldn’t just bring up randomly.
If it’s something huge like wanting to use toys in the bedroom, you should probably do that when you’re in a relaxed happy mood, like when you’re watching TV.
Find an appropriate time to have this convo if it’s something out of the ordinary.
Appreciate what you already like: How you start the conversation can determine how it’s going to go. What you say from the beginning can either make them feel more confident and secure or hurt.
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The best way to start is by telling them the things they do that you already like. Be honest about the things you would love to continue and let it come from a genuine place.
They will feel more comfortable and less defensive when you start with some positivity.
Use kind words: The other thing that can make this a positive experience is your tone and choice of words. A warm and inviting tone combined with kind words will help your partner feel more appreciated even when you’re trying to tell them there is something they should change.
Choose your words carefully and be as kind as possible when talking to your partner about this.
Be specific about what you want: It’s easy to panic and shy away from what you really mean when you finally get the chance to talk to them about it.
But, you should just tell them what you really want directly so that you can avoid miscommunications and assumptions.
It’s better if you say what you need once and for all.
Let them give their point of view: Your partner is allowed to either accept or reject the suggestions you have. It will depend on how comfortable they are with what you want to try and you should allow them to say what is on their mind.
If they need some time to think about it, you should respect that. And if they have a couple of suggestions of their own, encourage them to share.
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