Most relationships that turn out to be toxic, don’t always start out that way. A toxic relationship can be different for everyone and it gets tricky to identify if you are in an unhealthy relationship or not. Even if you have identified it, it can be really hard to leave the partner for many different reasons.
Once you discover you are in a toxic relationship it is advisable to leave immediately while you can. We know it takes a lot to heal from such a relationship but the fact is that you will eventually get better. While everyone’s recovery is different, here are some tips on how to heal after a toxic relationship.
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Don’t contact your ex
After going through a toxic relationship, it can be really tempting to want to reach out to your former partner, especially when you and your partner have been together for a long time. However, it is best to take some time alone to yourself and do you. If you keep communicating with the old partner, you may find yourself drawn back into that toxic relationship you were trying to run away from.
Feel your emotions
Leaving an unhealthy relationship brings up so many confusing and painful feelings, letting go of a relationship you have invested so much in isn’t always easy. You are going to feel so much and it is okay for you to allow yourself to be upset and feel your emotions when you need to. After giving yourself all the time you need to feel everything you need to feel. Giving yourself space to feel and process your feelings is the first step to start healing from a toxic relationship.
Maintain a strong support system with positive people
Make sure you surround yourself with positive people. A support system can include your family, friends, a therapist if necessary, etc. Being able to spend time with people you have a healthy relationship with and can trust will be beneficial. Toxic relationships have a way of keeping people alone, so now is the time to reconnect with your inner circle or make new friends.
Don’t be afraid to admit what you’ve been through
Toxic relationships can feel very isolating, if you’re not ready to share your story with others, you may consider writing your experience in a private journal as a way to process everything you’ve been through. If you are ready to share, you may talk with someone you trust or a therapist. Your story is important, but it’s often so important to be ready and willing to open up about it with others.
Re-discover your true self
Being in a toxic relationship for so long can make you lose your true self. Once you are out of the relationship, it is time for you to re-discover yourself. Prioritize your happiness and get back to doing things you love. Remember you were someone else before into the relationship.
Practice self-care
Toxic relationships can take a toll on you. Many people find that they stop taking care of themselves while they’re in a toxic relationship. Hence after you have left such a relationship, it is important to practice self-care, do things you really want to do.
Do not blame yourself
It is not your fault for being treated badly in your relationship, many relationships start out healthy before becoming toxic. There was no way for you to know what was coming. Therefore, do not blame yourself, rather learning to forgive yourself (if you’ve already been hard on yourself) is a critical step in recovering from an unhealthy relationship.
Be patient with yourself
The road to recovery isn’t always a straight line and everyone’s healing process is different. Some days will be much harder than others but allow yourself to take as much time as you need to feel better. If you can afford it, take a mental health day.
Focus on the present
Coming out of a toxic relationship, you may be tempted to look into the past or even try to plan everything out for the future. Recovery is an unpredictable process. Instead of trying to plan the future or dwelling on the past, focus on your current situation.
Focus on your resilience
When coming out of a toxic relationship, try not to think about yourself as a victim, but rather as a strong individual that is now able to focus on yourself and your needs. You are a survivor, and your past relationship does not need to define you or your life. Even though it may be difficult to see yourself as a fighter, you got out. You are more resilient than you know.
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