Raising kids with your ex is definitely not a small responsibility and it will require great effort from both parties to see it through. Both parties will make a decision in their heart to put their kids first before any other emotion or past they may share. Co-parenting isn’t for the faint-hearted and is an intentional process.
Read also: 10 Ways To Successfully Co-Parent With Your Baby Mama/ Baby Daddy
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- Put aside your differences
You but ended your relationship for a reason and the hurt could still be very present in the heart of both parties but remember that your child is way more important than the pain you are both nursing. Try to heal from the hurt and consider therapy as an option if it helps the healing process.
- Work on communication
We know you don’t want a relationship with your ex but there is a child involved and communication must happen compulsorily. Work on a communication method that works for both of you and also set boundaries to keep the communication within means.
- Settle fights amicably
Disagreement and fights are bound to happen but it is important to communicate amicably without hurling insults or throwing tantrums that will hurt your child in the long run.
- Work as a team
One great way to successfully co-parent with your partner is to work as a team, decision making, changes, and correction should be done as a team as it helps the child develop adequately. Presenting a united front before your child is more important than your differences and arguments.
- Set up a shared calendar.
There are several apps that will help you both share a joint calendar and also notify each other when certain adjustments are made on the calendars. Using this calendar helps you arrange and make decisions without fighting and also affects your children.
- Be flexible when possible
Be flexible when unexpected things are sure to pop up from time to time. What happens if your child is ill and needs to stay home from school, or if your circumstances change in the future? Sometimes the co-parenting plan needs to be adjusted at the beginning of each school term according to your kids’ sport or activity schedules.
- Pay special attention to maintaining traditions
When you were a couple you had traditions that were strictly maintained like birthdays, Easter eggs, Christmas, etc. These traditions should still be maintained and worked around to avoid introducing heavy changes to the child.
- Don’t set too high standards
Your ex will still be your ex and there are certain traits they are known for. Don’t expect a new human and make room for their old nature.
- Have a support group
Have a group where you discuss your concerns about co-parenting with your partner and also a group that offers help, support, and therapy if need be to help ease the pain.
Parents arguing infront of the children. - Make transitions and visitation easier
You lived together as a couple for years and this new reality will be tough on your child so make their life easier by working on visitations and transitions with your partner to ease your child into their new reality.
- Put aside your differences
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