The transition from singlehood, to being married, to motherhood which automatically means parenthood is a sweet ride that comes with its responsibilities and obligations.
As much as you want to relax and be taken care of, you need to take care of some individuals too. Your kids! You want all your time to yourself and your spouse, no interference, no third party, nothing. Just the two of you, making memories in each other’s arms without the sound of “Mummy I need this”, “Daddy I want this”. It is such a good moment.
But beyond your time not been yours anymore, the pretty little ones coming into your space and turning your world into a sweet journey, there is the parenting responsibility. There is the obligtion of being a good parent who loves their kids unconditionally and never hurt them.
Being a Tiger Mom never cuts it, you need to allow them be what they want to be. Strive to make decisions in their best interest. It is not about being the perfect parent but ensuring to be that good parent per time.
Below are some tips to help you be a good parent;
1. As your kids grow they will want to do things themselves, rather than do it for them, guide them through it. Let them feel independent that they can do things on their own with or without being monitored. Activities ranging from house chores to their school home-work, take them to a place they can handle things themselves. This will one way or the other build in them a sense of responsibility and accountability.
2. As the parent of these children you are their role model and you should have it in mind that they are always watching. So you should always be at your best behavior every time, especially when you are around them. Do not gossip, do not tell lies or exhibit any negative character traits around them. They will think this is okay and imitate such. Be careful.
3. As your children grow and start having the consciousness of things happening around them, you should start teaching them some basic moral standards like saying thank you when a favor is done to them, saying sorry when they do wrong, not to tell lies but always say the truth at all times, wash hands after doing any dirty thing, going to bed in time, helping others, respecting others and what have you. They’re kids and they pick things fast, so they’ll learn fast.
4. Always show them you love them. Perhaps you are a busy mum (or dad) that hardly has time for themselves, at least a note saying how much you love your child will go a long way. Words of affirmation, telling them how strong they are, saying positive words to them and some sweet words. Also buy them gifts, know what they want and try as much to attend their school functions. Be intentional about this act, it will build a strong connect between you and your kids and send a signal of love to your kids that “Mummy (Daddy) loves them.”
5. Kids of the digital age seem to know more than an average 80’s kids would. This is because they are growing fast and the digital environment is taking a toll on them. It is therefore imperative that parents help their kids channel this knowledge in the right direction. Never belittle them, it will bring down their self-esteem. Never be mean to them and do not spite them. All these only pass negative energies to them and make them doubt their self-worth. And whenever you do something wrong, do not hesitate to apologize. Saying “Sorry” shouldn’t be a big deal for you. It will teach your kids humility.
6. Most of the time, the parent wants to do the talking and the child do the listening because they are the adult. But this is never a good act of parenting. As much as you want to always talk to your kids, listen to them also. You will be surprised as to what they have to say. Allow them explain themselves, let them say their opinion on certain issues, let them be able to stand for whatever they say and say it without fears of being shut up. It is not a slave, slave master relationship you have with them. This will in turn boost their self-esteem and self-confidence.
7. Master the act of knowing your child. Know what they want and what they need. Know their likes and dislikes, their best sports, what interests them the most, Know if they are nocturnal or diurnal, introverted or extroverted, the crafts they are into, their allergies and all that good stuff. Know everything about them. Don’t be a stranger to your own child, be informed. This will somewhat build a connect between you and your kids.
8. As much as you want to pamper your kids, make them feel loved and feel themselves, you need to discipline them. Set your goals in this regard, be stern with it, stick to it and be consistent. This will help them be disciplined and not loose. Don’t force or pressure them. Do it softly but be stern about it.
Parenting comes with a lot to do and handle but going with these tips will help you. Most importantly, ensure you do what works for you and your kids.