When you are married you have no choice but to become a part your husband’s family. This means that means you have more than just a new relationship with them. You have their entire family to get to know.
Mothers-in-law are often hard to deal with and can very toxic. They are know for being controlling, judgmental, critical, and overbearing.
Below is 10 tips to deal with toxic mother in laws.
Talk it out with her: Talk to her about any issues she has with you. Explain to her how it makes you feel and Let her know you realise your partner is her child, and the transition isn’t easy for her. Approach the conversation in a calm manner and give her examples of times she is toxic to you.
Have your spouse set the boundaries: Have your partner speak to her and set any boundaries. You partner can tell her that you are not happy with her just showing up at random times and not calling before she comes over.
Consider why she might be treating you this way: Try to understand her and maybe this will excuse her behaviour. Knowing why she’s acting this way will give you clarity and help guide your reactions. You can talk about the issues and hopefully this will resolve it.
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Don’t lose yourself: You don’t stop being yourself, be kind, be bold. Do not please others just because they do not appreciate you being yourself. If she can not see what harm her behaviour is causing, it is her problem not yours.
Stand up for yourself: Let her do all the fight picking and finger-pointing. Instead of reacting emotionally or defensively, stand up for yourself and do not have her treat you badly.
Forgive and forget: Accept her the day you see her changed approach, forgive because she won’t ask and you need closure. It is hard to forgive someone who is not seeking forgiveness as a toxic mother in law will never seek your forgiveness.
Stop overthinking: Don’t let her toxic behaviour spread poison in your mind and your thoughts because it will affect how you think and how you deal with others. Know that she is poison and needs help.
Recognise and avoid triggers: If she always acts out when you’re at her house, then don’t go over there so often. If she gets annoying and controlling around holidays then tell your husband that you want to opt out.
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Don’t seek validation: She will question you, criticise you, and even doubt your intentions. Don’t expect her to like you and don’t feel like you need to impress them.
Distance: You don’t need to move out of the city or country. But you should ensure that you do not attend every event. Your partner can have relationship with his mother, but you don’t have to be involved all the time.
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