With the rise of sexual images on television and in popular music, waiting till marriage before having sex is not so easy.
However, if you know your boundaries and reasons for abstaining from sex until marriage, then you can stand firm in your beliefs.
No matter what your reasons are, abstinence before marriage is simply about respecting your boundaries.
Below are ways you can wait till marriage before having sex with your partner:
1. Think about why you want to wait
You need to take a little time to think about what you want in a relationship, and why you want to wait for sex until marriage. Most importantly, think about your personal reasons for wanting to wait. Knowing why you want to wait will make it easier to explain to your partner and stand firm with your beliefs.
2. Determine your boundaries in advance
What sort of behaviour do you classify as sex? Are you okay with kissing and touching? Are you waiting for all forms of sex, such as oral sex? You need to think about your lines now, not in the heat of the moment, so that it is easier to stand your ground when temptation comes.
If you were to have a physical relationship, what kind of things would be okay with you? What would you find acceptable, and what would you rather avoid?
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3. Stay away from lurid media depictions of sex and fantasy
Movies and pop culture put a lot of emphasis on sex, and it would be almost impossible to escape it all. But that doesn’t mean that you need to seek it out. If something makes your uncomfortable, feel free to leave. You’ll never change how other people view sex, but you can respect your own boundaries and keep sex at the periphery.
Most of the depictions are not real, fictional accounts of sex. The promise of “life-changing sex” is not reality, and you should remember this if you feel pressured to become sexually active.
3. State your boundaries clearly and quickly in romantic situations
This doesn’t have to be the first thing you say, and it doesn’t need to be a big conversation. But letting someone know that you aren’t interested in sex before marriage is the best way to get people to stop pressuring you. If someone is flirting a little too heavily or making suggestions you don’t agree with, look them in the eyes and let them know that you’re not interested in sex.
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4. Remain firm in your beliefs, even if it means leaving events or parties
Never let peer pressure, media influences, or guilt-tripping force you to compromise your convictions. If someone is not respecting your decision to wait for sex, it is time to leave and go somewhere more supportive. A simple and firm, “no thank you,” or “it’s just not for me” should be enough to get people off your back. If someone still pressures you, you should remove yourself from the situation.
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5. Remember that abstinence is the only 100% effective way to prevent pregnancy and STDs
If you’re at risk of breaking your own boundaries, and can’t remember why you decided to wait, just remember the practice consequences of your decision.
Abstinence before marriage is the only way to completely avoid STDs and unwanted pregnancies. No matter what other reasons you have for waiting, this tangible and immediate benefit of abstinence can help you overcome temptation.
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