If you are in a relationship or Married in Nigeria, then we need not really say this depressingly honest fact – Being unfaithful in a marriage can be the most agonising trauma to endure.
No-one sets out to cheat in a relationship – but sadly, infidelity happens far too often in our society. The truth is that nothing can ‘affair-proof’ your marriage because each infidelity is different – but there are things you can do to help prevent your husband from straying.
Here, we offer show the tell-tale signs to look out for that could lead your man committing adultery.
1. Talk through your definitions of infidelity: The fight step is to justify an affair to your partner to find out what exactly constitutes cheating. Talk about it. Ask each other “what’s an affair? What’s infidelity?” Some people might think flirting online with others is not cheating – but your partner might feel utterly deceived. Cheating doesn’t necessarily mean penis in vagina. If you say you are going out for a drink with the boys but you are meeting a girl – that’s deceitful. We all have a different definition to cheating but whatever the definition you take, if you’re hiding something from your partner because you know it will hurt them, then you’re being deceitful.
2. Communication: Always address the issues – don’t sweep your problems under the carpet. Always understand all relationships are not made to be perfect. If you’re that person who thinks affairs would never happen to you – you’re more at risk of having it so always communicate. Have that awkward conversation because it’s the smartest way to avoid any affairs from happening. Ask each other “what could happen if one of us has an affair?” or “how would we feel if one of us cheated?” – you both need to understand the consequences. Look at what works best for us in our relationship. Are you having a healthy sex life? If you’re not having enough sex, address what’s going on in the bedroom. Not enough sex is actually an issue for some people. If you see that as a problem in your relationship, talk about it. Asking your partner why they’re not having sex could hold the answer to your problems. Not communicating can lead to affairs so be open.
3. Look at the red flags that could lead to cheating: Ignoring the warning signs can lead to cheating so look at all the red flags for you and your partner. If you notice your partner pulling away from you or they feel disconnected in the relationship, talk about it with them. Another sign is if your partner is hiding things like their laptop or phone, or if a charge on their account doesn’t look right.
4. Trust your instinct: If you have been in a very strong marriage, you are much more likely to instinctively know something is wrong. Always trust your instinct. Far too often, women think “we’re crazy, I’m just acting jealous or it’s probably not true” – but if you know something doesn’t add up, you need to speak to your partner about it.
5. Affair-proof your marriage: Nothing will really affair-proof your marriage because each infidelity is different and you can’t control your partner’s thoughts or actions. But with the right approach, you can strengthen your marriage and prevent any adultery from happening in the future. It’s not a matter of preventing your partner from straying – it’s a backward statement to keep men or women happy in the relationship. There’s never a full-proof way to “affair-proof” your marriage but having that conversation is a start – and just be open about everything in your relationship. Both of you might think you don’t need that conversation because neither of you believe you’d ever be in that situation. But you should talk about how you would both feel if one of you did find yourself in that situation because chances are, you’re more at risk if you don’t communicate.
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