When your child misbehaves, there are better ways to help fix such misbehaviour. You can usually turn this misbehaviour into kindness.
Help your child fix his unkind behaviour with these:
1. Talk to your child about his misbehaviour
Your child might not want to talk about their misbehaviour, or they might find it hard to recognise that there is a problem.
A good way to do this is by starting a conversation while doing an activity together. This can help your child to relax while the discussion is going on.
2. Have some behavioural management strategies in mind.
You can try some of these things to help manage your child’s unkindness. Have a go at some different strategies until you find what works for you and your child. Be patient if new strategies do not seem to work straightaway. It often does take a bit of time for change to happen, and for your child to get used to things.
3. Looking after yourself
Supporting a child who is behaving in challenging ways can be an exhausting task. If things are tough at the moment, do not be hard on yourself or your abilities as a parent. While it is normal to feel upset when your child is acting out, often it is not about you.
Children and young people like to take things out on those they feel closest to and safest with. So try not to take it personally. Keep doing the things that help you re-charge and ask for support when you need it.
4. Create privacy when reprimanding your child’s unkind behaviour
Just as most of us would prefer to not have something like that broadcast to everyone around us, your child would mostly likely feel safer and more at ease if you create a private space.
5. Model kind behavior for your child to emulate
This is one perfect opportunity to showcase how to treat others with kindness. Even if your child has just said or done something mean, show them that they are still deserving of kind treatment. By doing so, you will demonstrate the exact behaviour you want them to choose.
6. Emphasize your child’s goodness to inspire kind behaviour
Negative feelings will happen, but you can work on the behaviour choices you make as a result of those feelings. Put the emphasis on those choices, and on figuring out different ways to deal with big negative feelings that don’t also make other people feel bad.
7. Understand where your child is coming from and why they mean behaviour happened
If your child acts out and does something unkind, it’s quite likely that they’re not trying to be mean. Instead, they may be suffering from anxiety, self doubt, insecurity, overtiredness – or just really really hangry! Or maybe they’re in a situation that makes them feel uncomfortable and they just don’t have the tools to deal with it in an appropriate way. Once you’ve discovered the root of their behavior, help them solve the problem and come up with better solutions.
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