Knowing how to use your emotional intelligence (EQ) in your relationship will help you to build a romantic and long-lasting relationship between you and your partner.
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the secret of lasting intimate relationships, largely because it makes us extremely aware of the changes that are constantly occurring in ourselves and others.
We have the potential to attain the kind of love we all dream of—deep intimacy, mutual kindness, real commitment, soulful caring—simply because of empathy, our innate ability to share emotional experiences. But to reach the height of romance we need all the skills of a high emotional intelligence: sharp emotional awareness to avoid confusing infatuation or lust for lasting love; acceptance to experience emotions that could harm a relationship if left to fester; and a vigilant active awareness to appraise us of what’s working and what isn’t.
Read also: 8 Signs To Show You Are Dating An Emotionally Mature Man
Here are 5 great ways to build a romantic and long-lasting relationship with your emotional intelligence:
1. Actively seek change in your relationship
Relationships often change by nature. Any relationship not nudged toward the kind of growth you want will drift into change of another kind—maybe one you don’t want. Your ability to embrace change pays off in courage and optimism. Ask yourself certain questions; does your lover need something new from you? Do you need to schedule some time to reevaluate together? Are you as happy as you used to be? Without EQ, such questions are often just too scary to face, so many lovers ignore signals of change until it’s too late.
2. View the challenges you encounter as opportunities rather than problems
Your courage and optimism allow you to view dilemmas not as problems, but as challenging opportunities. When you don’t need to blame each other for your emotions, you’re not controlled by negative emotional memories, and you’re alert not to repeat the same old mistake. When you have a high EQ, you’re liberated from ruts and resignation, and you can get down to resourceful problem-solving. You can meet differences between you and unavoidable crises, as invitations to find each other, challenges to get closer and emerge individually and collectively stronger.
3. Respect all the feelings you have for each other
Being in love doesn’t mean never feeling angry, disappointed, hurt, or jealous. How you act on your emotions is up to you; what’s important is that you actually feel them. Many relationships have been ruined by blame, and millions of couples have missed out on deep intimacy because of shame. Both are cruel remains of unfelt anger, fear, and anxiety. If you’ve done the work of building EQ, you’ll experience the emotions and get on with your life together.
4. Keep the laughter in your love life
To avoid intellectualizing emotions you, need acceptance, and a big part of your acceptance comes from laughter. Lovers who can’t laugh together about themselves probably aren’t very accepting of their relationships. They may not be able to tolerate its unique flaws and inevitable stumbles, any more than they can put up with their own. They’re also less likely to be open to a relationship’s most pleasant surprises.
5. Pay attention to how you feel when your lover is not around
Fortunately, you have a flawless way of monitoring exactly how your relationship is going. Love never benefits from tunnel vision. If you don’t feel energetic, clear-headed, and benevolent all the time, it doesn’t really matter whether you coo like doves when you’re together. Make sure you use your emotional intellgence to deal with this.
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