Having a partner who has children with another woman or man may not be an easy experience, especially if there is lots of baby mama/baby daddy drama involved. If you have no children of your own, you could feel isolated in your interactions between your partner, his/her children, and the ex.
While this may not be a perfect or ideal situation but yet you find yourself in this type of relationship, there are ways to make it work, even if there’s conflict involved. If you want to deal with the drama or want it to be kept to a minimum, here are some tips to help deal with baby mama/baby daddy drama.
Read also: 10 Ways To Successfully Co-Parent With Your Baby Mama/ Baby Daddy
Make sure your partner know exactly how you feel
First and foremost, this is the most important tip because if your spouse doesn’t think you have a problem with the drama going on, they may not think there is a need to do anything about it. So, make sure that you have a serious talk with your spouse about how you feel and how you feel you have been treated.
Keep your business to yourself
Your spouse and his/her baby mama/baby daddy probably speak regularly since they share a child, and since they have a history, he/she may feel comfortable talking to his/her ex about everything especially if you two have an argument. Let him/her know that while you respect the bond they share as parents, that bond should stop there, and any discussions that involve the two of you would be inappropriate. Also, don’t try to be friendly with your spouse’s baby mama/baby daddy, keep every detail of your relationship to yourself.
Accept that he/she would be part of your partner’s life forever
Trying to drive a wedge between your spouse and the baby mama/baby daddy is not necessary, it would only lead to more drama. They have a child together and that means that the two of them will have to keep in contact and share responsibilities till the child becomes an adult. So, just come to terms and accept it.
Give the children unconditional love
Having a good relationship with the children and continuing to nurture your bond with them is great. Even if the other parent talks negatively about you, just do what you keep doing, the drama comes from the adults, not the children. It is also important not to discuss the other parent with the children either in a negative or positive way. If the other parent loves drama, they will find a way to turn that into an argument.
Don’t be in contact with the baby mama/baby daddy
Why would you need to communicate with your partner’s baby mama/baby daddy, let all the talking be done by the other parent. It is better to let the sleeping dog lie than disturb it. Being in contact with your partner’s baby mama/baby daddy is not a great idea and would only escalate things.
Be strategic when dealing with the other parent
When you are being emotional you sometimes do things at the moment and are not thinking about the long-term effects. Being strategic is the exact opposite because you tend to think of how your actions are going to affect things in the long run and how they are going to influence everyone involved. Hence, when dealing with the baby mama/baby daddy always be strategic and not emotional.
Don’t be caught up in the middle of the argument
It’s very important to stay out of your partner and the baby mama/baby daddy discussions or arguments. If they are going through any issues concerning their child, let them work it out themselves without you involving yourself and getting dragged into the middle.
Respect him/her
Showing respect to the baby mama/baby daddy would definitely reduce the drama. Always try to give them the respect they deserve.
Try not to get worked up
Another important tip is this, try not to get worked up. Don’t let what the baby mama/baby daddy do get into your skin. If you can keep up with this, be rest assured the drama would be reduced to a minimum.
Try talking to him/her
The baby mama/baby daddy is the last person you want to talk to, but maybe all you need to do to clear the air is have a friendly little chat. He/She may feel that you’re trying to take over the role and be the “fairy step-parent” hence causing him/her to feel a little jealousy or resentment. Clear the air and make him/her try to understand where you are coming from and that you can never take the place of the parent in the child’s life.
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