When it comes to relationships, conflict is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to be emotionally distressing or callous. Couples can disagree while still showing compassion and respect for each other. You can have conflicts with your partner in a constructive way, and it may actually bring you closer together. But frequent heated and hurtful conflict is certainly not healthy nor sustainable.
If you want to navigate disagreements or conflicts with your partner in a healthier and more productive way, keep these in mind:
1. Give Five Times More Positive Interactions Than Negative Interactions
Research shows that for every negative interaction, five positive interactions must occur to repair the damage and restore the relationship. If negative interactions are not counter-acted, they can accumulate and cause couples to grow apart.
- Show that you are listening and understanding your partner.
- Reach out with affection.
- Use a common connector, like humor.
2. Communicate Understanding And Empathy Despite Conflict
Even if you and your partner are disagreeing, show that you are listening. Show empathy for your partner’s point of view by affirming what is said and affirming the feelings your partner is communicating. Remind yourself (and your partner) that you admire him despite there being conflict.
3. Express Forgiveness
It’s okay to admit that you don’t always act kind or understanding in your relationship. Recognize when you’ve let your partner down or made a mistake. Express the mistake to your partner, and ask for forgiveness. Likewise, be quick to forgive your partner when she messes up. Forgiveness allows couples to acknowledge their shortcomings and approach the relationship through growth. Don’t linger on things that have been hurtful; move on.
Read also: 7 Tips To Make Long-Distance Relationships Work
4. Express Love Regularly
For important relationships, especially with your spouse or other family members, be sure to demonstrate your love often, continually expressing your caring for them in a myriad of ways, especially in the language that they understand best. It is widely believed that “it’s the thought that counts,” but the thought counts only when the gift of love is actually given. Concealed love benefits no one.
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