Most people feel shy when they are in a relationship. It is normal to feel shy when you are with someone new to you, but you can overcome this shyness with time. Overcoming shyness in a relationship will keep you and your partner open to each other.
Here are some positive ways of overcoming shyness in a relationship:
- Understand the difference between shyness and low self-esteem
Plenty of shy people are very comfortable and happy with themselves and have healthy levels of self-confidence. Do not think that just because you are shy, there is something wrong with you. Your partner chose you because they liked your personality, and your shyness is part of that. Even if it’s something you want to work on for your own sake in the relationship, never forget that you can be confident and powerful even if you are shy.
2. Be upfront about your shyness from the beginning
Studies have shown that discussing your shyness-related anxiety can lessen the effects of it, and experts suggest that showing vulnerability is actually a good way to increase trust and intimacy between partners. Especially in new relationships, it’s very important to have a conversation about your shyness at the outset; this will pave the way for easier conversations down the road that will make your relationship a lasting one. There is certainly nothing to be ashamed of, so be open and honest about how you’re feeling when you feel yourself tensing up.
3. Relax, and don’t rush a young relationship
Because you know that you struggle with shyness, you might put extra pressure on yourself to make a relationship work immediately, but relationships don’t work like that even for extroverted people. Instead of trying to connect with your partner all the time, take enough time with yourself and with the friends and family you feel comfortable with to keep yourself happy. When you’re happier, your relationship will have a better chance of working out.
Read also: 8 Interesting Things To Know About Relationship Before You Get Involved
4. Get to know your partner through technology
Many shy people find that it’s face-to-face interactions that cause them the most anxiety, but that they can communicate by text or on the internet more comfortably. Most new couples don’t spend all their time together anyway, so keep in touch through texting, Facebook, Twitter, and other methods of communication that will let you establish a relationship and get to know each other without all the anxiety of seeing the person in the flesh.
5. Practice for a new relationship by going on practice dates
If you find yourself seizing up with shyness when you are out on dates with your new partner, try going through the steps of a date without the pressure of being around someone who makes you nervous because of their newness.
You can ask a platonic friend or relative who you’re very comfortable with to go on a “date” with you.
8. Go on low-pressure outings
If a romantic setting like a fancy dinner makes you nervous, then lower the bar. Go on a date where you won’t feel so much pressure to make a one-on-one connection, but can enjoy yourselves together in a more public setting.
9. Breathe deeply to relax
Shyness often comes with a lot of anxiety about being in social situations, and in a relationship, you are expected to be very open and intimate with your partner which may be very stressful for a shy person. If you feel yourself tensing up around your partner, do a simple relaxation exercise to calm yourself down and put you in a better frame of mind.
Read also: 10 Great Tips On Flirting With Your Partner To Keep Your Relationship New & Romantic
10. Make eye contact with your partner
Shy people often avoid eye contact, and while that’s perfectly acceptable and maybe even desirable if you have a shy partner, an extroverted partner will likely feel like you’re being aloof or distant.
The eyes are an important tool for communication, so rushing into a lot of eye contact might feel draining. Over time, practice making eye contact more and more frequently, and for longer periods of time.
11. Keep your arms and legs uncrossed
When you cross your arms over your chest, or cross your legs, your body is communicating to those around you that you are trying to make yourself smaller and close yourself off. Make a conscious decision to keep your body open.
Let your hands sit at your sides. Push your shoulders back and your chest forward.
12. Mirror your partner’s facial expressions in conversation
Even if do not like to talk much because of your shyness, that doesn’t mean your partner needs to feel alone when they are speaking with you. You can engage nonverbally in a conversation simply by registering the same emotions your partner is having in a given moment.
If your partner smiles or laughs, you should smile or laugh along. If they’re discussing something concerning, register their worry on your face. This will ensure your partner that you’re still engaged with them, not withdrawn into your own world.
13. Give active nonverbal feedback when listening
There are many nonverbal ways in which you can interact with your partner, giving the impression that they are having more of a give and take with you than they actually are. Some ways to nonverbally engage in a communication include smiling or laughing at appropriate moments, maintaining eye contact, nodding along
Read also: Questions To Ask On First Date: The Good, The Bad & The Funny
