Certain things in a relationship seem like they should come automatically but they do not. As a couple, you both have to be willing to put some work in it for it to last.
You must create a safe space where you both feel loved, respected and heard. The right foundation will help your relationship grow in bounds and stand the test of time.
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Sadly, many of us are surrounded by unhealthy relationships and constantly bombarded with heart breaking news and cheating escapades it is almost impossible to know what a healthy relationship should look like.
Despite the efforts you put in to make your connection great, misunderstandings, fall outs, outbursts and issues will always be there.
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It will not always be smooth sailing every single moment you’re together which is OK.
To build a well-grounded relationship here are some characteristics that portray a healthy relationship:
Conflict resolution: No one is perfect and at one point you will get into each other’s nerves. How you deal with issues will determine whether your union will last or not.
When problems arise, it is not a cue to take off or shut down. As two mature adults you should be able to sit down and discuss in a respectful manner.
Hear each other out and make amends even if it means apologising or vowing to stop a certain behavior that negatively affects your partner.
Spend time as a couple: You will be amazed at how little time couples who have been together for a while actually spend together! And that right there could be the genesis of avoidable problems.
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It is important to create time out of your busy schedules to hang out just the two of you without the kids, family members or friends.
If it means going out of town just the two of you to get that uninterrupted time together do so. This brings you even closer and you learn how to enjoy each other’s company.
Forgiveness: If you’re still holding a grudge towards your partner, you have some introspection to do. Find out why you still feel the way you do and if there is anything they can do or say to help you get over it let them know so that you can let those hurt feelings go.
Learn how to not dwell in the past and let bygones be bygones. Refrain from bringing up past mistakes during arguments even if you really want to drive a point home.
This will only make your partner feel attacked and put on the spot. If will do more harm than good.
Compromise: Your relationship is not perfect so don’t expect perfection. When issues come up, learn how to communicate in a respectful way and put yourselves in each other’s shoes to better understand where the other person is coming from.
Each one of you must bring something to the table and reach a consensus on the way forward. It should be a give and take for the both of you. If one person is constantly letting go and doing the compromising, your relationship will not stand a chance.
Have fun: A good relationship allows you to be silly, goofy and bring that childlike person out. If you don’t enjoy each other’s company, you will get bored of each other fast.
Enjoy a good laugh while playing some cards or teasing each other to lighten up the mood. Laughing makes you want to spend even more time together and solidifies the emotional bond you already have.
You have space: We all have needs, interests, hobbies and things we enjoy doing alone. It is therefore super important that you both get to spend time individually while apart.
In a healthy relationship, couples should be able to do what they want without the other feeling insecure or worried of what may happen.
Take the time alone to take care of yourself and do the things you love. When you are grounded you will be able to give and do more for your partner.
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