Sunday, May 26, 2024
More

    5 Reasons Why Most Married Couples Are Unhappy After Childbirth And How To Remedy The Situation

    You always wanted to have a baby, and now you have one, but you dislike your spouse.

    Research on marital satisfaction suggests that having children reduces happiness between spouses.

    READ ALSO: 20 Mind Blowing Yoruba Cute Names To Call Your Lover

    Studies indicate that during their first year of childbirth, new parents often experience unpleasant thoughts about their partners.

    Apart from exhaustion and lack of sleep, why does this happen?

    Women bear the grunt of housekeeping and childcare
    Studies have shown that mothers provide more child care than fathers do, whether or not they are working mothers.

    READ ALSO: Best Romantic Hausa Names To Call Your Mai Gida

    Mothers tend to face higher levels of marital dissatisfaction after having children due to additional responsibilities such as caring for the children, working and carrying out household chores. This leads them to perceive their marriages as one-sided and unfair.

    Lack of sex
    Another reason for marital dissatisfaction might be the lack of sex and intimacy. After childbirth, the sexual life of a married couple usually hits the roof. Though women can have sex six weeks after childbirth, they may not be ready for penetrative sex for up to a year. It takes time to adjust to a new body, routine, and baby.

    READ ALSO: 10 Reasons Why You Need A Romantic Baecation

    Women who just gave birth and are still breastfeeding need time to heal. They also experience vaginal dryness due to low estrogen levels.

    SexOverbearing mothers
    Some mothers manage their spouses’ interactions with their kids because they believe they are better parents; this can cause resentment in their husbands. This practice is known as “maternal gatekeeping” by sociologists.

    READ ALSO: 10 Beautiful Ankara Gown Styles You Can Effortlessly Wear For Any Event

    For childcare responsibilities to be evenly distributed, mothers need to allow fathers to handle tasks their way, even if it differs from their approach, as long as the child’s safety is not compromised.

    How to have happier marriages

    Divide the responsibilities
    Parental responsibilities and child care should be divided in a way that seems fair, not equal.

    READ ALSO: 6 Great Ways To Start A Romantic Relationship That Will Lead To A Happy, Healthy Union

    For instance, if one partner works longer than the other, they will likely spend fewer hours on tasks relating to the home and children. However, it is more important than household chores and parental responsibilities to be split between the two of them, no matter who works more. For example, the person who bathes the baby shouldn’t be the same person who makes breakfast.

    Prioritise intimacy and not sex
    While penetrative sex is important, there are many other ways to be intimate with your partner if they aren’t ready for sex after childbirth. Kissing, cuddling, holding hands, hugging, touching, fondling, and sucking are ways to establish intimacy.

    READ ALSO: Eyinfunjowo! 7 Yoruba Words To Use To Woo A Woman

    What are your partner’s erogenous zones or sexual needs? Plus, are you listening to your partner’s non-sexual needs? Do whatever it takes to keep the sexual spark burning.


    Photo Credit: Getty

    Other Articles